Lost thought

Whenever there is a simple idea that leads to innovation we always think "Man!!! Why didnt I think of this?" Thinking out loud of an explanation - Is it possible that the idea came to some people, some didnt deem the thought enticing to think further, some thought about it but didnt take it conclusion, some didnt say out the conclusion loud, some didnt market the idea well enough for other to know about it.

Enough of the life cycle of an idea. How many such thoughs are lost in transition. Where am I taking this topic, well I am getting at the current age where we are bombarded with Information all the time. Are we assimilating all of them? On an average, a person sees or hears abt A and before A is Assimilated, another B is introduced. Now the person takes a new direction because B Biases the almost assimilated thought A.

And I can definitely say with confidence ( i meant confidence interval of 95% ) that the conclusion C of the thought is lost because of a damaging thought D. Entangled thought E has no chance of deciphiral.

There are some Fixed thoughts F that keep coming again and again. Brain has got so used to it, they are ignored to death. Sudden gush of thoughts G come up, when the person is in stimulated environment

Entirely new thought E comes up, because the brain was temporarily Full of mixture of thoughts F. Even though the though G Gazes at the person cant react to it.

Hardly a thought H comes to Iota of a size and all other neighbouring thoughts of parellel processing I just kill it. Kaboom it was burst. A thought J Just lost!!! Or an entire Horde of distractions H just making it difficult to concentrate. "Well what was i thinking??? " Said the self obsessed thought I. Just in time thought J sorta reminds you what you were thinking but alas you need to resign to the fact you were not able to fully comprehend the same. Okay you let the thought K rest in peace.

More thoughts M might come in future. But many of them will be related to your past, what you have seen, experienced or thought. None of them purely new... You wish you had a totally new thought N , but  the thought O is not out of the ordinary because it is a result of processed thought P, even few quarantined thought Q those were locked away never to be thought again. Still the brain does go there May be because it was too radical R or it was socially not so appropriate at that situation S.

Title it any way you want, term it in any manner you want - you can be diplomatic or you can be blunt but Thought T was thought by you. It somewhere defines you. This definition leads to "What defines you?" Well, many say - what I think of me defines me as per me and what you think of me defines me and vice versa. But is it only this thought of you or me U defines me and not the action. Lets take this a level above... if you didnt think of it how can it be converted into action. So all U need not be action but all action need a underlying thought U.

If versatility was a desirable skill then a versatile thought V that can be moulded into various thought process to be Worded diplomatically W or Cite as X ( verdict without any logic or background) or deceive someone to believe at your will Y. For all you know it was just a useless thought you spend wasting time on like this post but still have a sense of achievement. All those didnt have any category will be kept under Z. :D

Peace!!!

Bhaag zaroor Lena

Some months back succumbing to peer pressure, I decided to try marathon. Well as a child I hated to run. Those 100 mts, 200 mts and 1000 mts. After a certain speed ( which was considered slow for any human standards) i used to feel I am flying and still... i was never able to reach. The destination was too far.. I pondered why was this so? I realized that was because i was running for someone else's reason, along with someone else and competing against someone else. It was not for me. I realised the adrenaline kick was something that could motivate me to try something i hated so much... no points for guessing - Running. It was never about winning but it was about me finishing that 21 kms. How much ever tired you get just finish it. So the next time you run a marathon it is just about being better than what you were, even by few minutes. 

You challenge your own physical limits. After 7 - 8 kms it is not your physical ability but your mental ability you keep going. Trust me your body is not going to know till the next day. And before that you would have definitely finished the marathon. :)

Well crowd does help. You can find your inspiration. A old lady who over takes you to a disabled person to a husband who pushes his wife who is unable to run herself. It is about the spirit. Once you discover it, it is an addiction. You can never get enough.

So the idea is to take the marathon challenge to next level, we are trying to cover most cities where the marathon are held. Mumbai, Bangalore, Delhi,  Hyderabad, Chennai, Vadodara, Pune are few that we have considered.

It is that time of life

It is that time of life when i am surprised that i am not cheerful. Its been ages since I was genuinely happy about things. It did make me ponder what is wrong. For the only cosmetic I wear is my smile. :D waah waah dialogueeee!!!

Well is it work? are things not working out with a friend? are you bothered about your health or of someone dear? did you lose money in the market?

That is the whole point, i am at a stage where things are not defined. I can define it and probably that is where i am lost. From my childhood, I was asked to study, play and do things that is good for me, but defined by parents, relatives and the society. Then i reached high school, i was asked to focus - focus on getting marks... then i got a college - i was asked to target a good job. well one can have one more iteration of study and job. Chalo MBA, MS and another naukri... but ab kya...
Parents go berserk ask you to get married. married ke baad kids... the cycle starts all over. but when is it about me? when is it about what makes me happy???

Sometimes I do relate to Maslow's theory ( and the needed social media acknowledgement)

It would take a huge leap of psychology to think beyond basic needs and do give credit to materialistic needs to psychological wants. I ideally want the world to give me a society that utilizes my skills and capacity to the maximum level and probably push me to go beyond!!! Well it is never an ideal world but least strive to get it for yourself.

As it is said, you might not get the job you wanted but dress up as if you would for the job you always wanted!!!

Politics in photography

Sounds like a serious topic and trust me it is nowhere close to what it sounds!!!

Whenever I go on any trip there are only two thing that end up happening - 1. either people are forced into taking my pics and i pose endlessly. So they prefer the second option that is give me the camera and i keep taking pictures endlessly. And I ensure no scene is missed ... WITH OR WITHOUT PEOPLE. Well my fellow passengers are happy because their misery is shared between horde of people.

"Where is the politics?"

Well politics comes into picture ( literally) when i am not allowed to maintain a balance. A balance between nature and people. Or even between people for that matter. More self obsessed you are about your pictures ( blame it on Facebook profile pics :P ) I would not want to take your pic.

And come on... if you have a SLR it would make more sense of clicking nature than profile pics. Well if i was to take pics of people i would do a photo shoot and i wouldnt be on trip. ( I would still not go back in saying trips are about people whom you travel with ... )

And then if you really want a natural setting I can always photoshop with the the nice nature photgraphy i did. Let me shoot in peace. I have seen people wanting to pose and then they run out of poses. Well imagine how boring it would be for the photographer. Then many a times like my partner would say - Photography is all about shooting too many times that few of them works. But it is all about reducing the bad shots or knowing what went wrong and how to reduce it. It is about being man and machine all at once. It is a form of art and indulge in it :)

Stroke of Brush

I might have ranted on and on how inspiring most of my friends are. Well inspiration does come in all sizes but again ... kuch paane ke liye kuch khona padta hai. Personally, every wink of sleep I sacrificed for every stroke brush is totally worth it. For me "Art" has been the most abused in the name of inspiration. Probably for the level of pyramid as per Maslow's theory that seems coherent.

13th of June 2013, our usual tradition for 3 years was up-kept. VS - my kiddo, my mentor and my awe :) Personally we haven't spent too much time together. Well it goes on to say a lot if I call him all of the above. One - He is a super complicated personality :) 2 hours at Starbucks brought so much enthusiasm. ( we had moved away from usual Gloria Jean to Starbucks to suit his Americanized ways of life :P ) I had become busy with recent happenings in my life and my life has become pretty much unidimensional. Talking to him, it was just about me and not about happenings in my life. Suddenly life become so much more clear. I always thought what intrigued me most about him was his complicated wiring in his head. But then I realized his life fundas were very simple. More respect man.

We spoke about his inspirations and his mentor. It was about how he gets a call "Kiddo, what are you doing?" Reply comes - "NM, was just at home. Spending time at the studio"
"I am taking this lecture at the university. I was hoping if you could come"
He lands up at the class and she calls him to the podium and introduces him as "This is Vinay Sharma, one of my advanced painters"
VS need not tell me further what reactions that would have stirred in him. But I let him narrate "Class I would be back" to pull himself together. Well I can just relate when he said you have it in you but you need a good mentor. As you are not finding someone here I would pass on comments on similar mistakes I made. "Why are you crying" :D "You know why"

Buying Art Supplies: I always tried to connect with him to understand him more, support him more but that never happened. Every year when he used to come down to visit me, I wanted to gift him something. All my gifts have always been meaningful. But I could never knew him well enough to gift something which he would cherish. I found that thing! It was always right before me. What would a painter love? His Art supplies. Well I never understood because 1st year - he himself didnt paint full time yet, 2nd year I hadnt. We went Art Supplies shopping. I felt the connection for the first time. My materialistic mode of happiness was discovered.

Aunty mentions that she would want to gift him TShirts. V would have just kept it in his suitcase till next time he would have had to travel again. Gift me art supplies :) Nothing else makes me happy and I would use it.

So much work but still paint :) He has got this perfect balance at work and have enough time to paint. He has  given up on large no of social circle just to create enough time for his art. Many think he is arrogant but you need to be dedicated. You need to give time. You need to develop. It is a growth need for all artists.

Painting brings the same calmness that standing beside pond or a seashore used to give me. But its diff in the way Paul Cezanne puts it - " Right now a moment is fleeting by! Capture its reality in paint! To do that we must put all ease out of our minds. We must become that moment, make ourselves a sensitive recording plate. Give the image of what we actually see, forgetting everything that has been seen before our time"

Mumbai Marathon vs Delhi Marathon

Even though this post might sounds cribby I wanted to record my journey through both the marathons and how it improved me as a person.

I have always hated running as a Physical Exercise from the time of PT periods in school. I sorta wanted to overcome the fear/hatred toward running. Well I always loved walking. I can walk many kms and can avoid public transport. So trade off just walk a marathon. What better place than Mumbai Marathon which Aleem Bhayya and Sujith, who used to practice regularly and better, the enthusiasm they used to exude. Coincidence has it that many folks from my office were also registering in bulk. Itne saare log daud rahe hain toh mein kyun nahi. I somehow had a blind faith that i would complete it walking if not running and definitely within evening 6pm.

So after running the marathon, the confidence just shot up. I even jogged and ran a bit. But after 8 kms there were blisters that actually put me to test. I wouldn't have been able to walk had it been any other day, but that day it was different. I guess that what they call as "Adrenaline took me over". Even I finshed. But trust me i didnt want to torture my body ever again. Fate had its way, I got brainwashed by Amey and Shail to reach Delhi for marathon. Trust me I was sorta sure I would ditch them but i didnt ( awww!!!)

I personally knew Delhi Marathon was not as established as Mumbai one. Mumbai would be hosting its 10th Marathon and for Delhi it was just 5th. Hence was not expecting a show to equate the size and stature of Mumbai Marathon. Still there were basic amenities that we were pampered to in the Mumbai. For Example, however slow a participant is they would still get the Gatorade, water bottles, sponges, eatables like oranges, banana, parle g biscuits etc. Can you believe we got a 35 buck worth Dairy Milk. If not the organizers the locals had come to cheers us up and also gave us stuff on the way to ensure we complete the marathon. Somehow i found this spirit missing. I am not sure if i can expect the same from Delhi.

For striking thing about Delhi Marathon was invariably everyone was wearing a Nike, Addidas, ASICS, etc. It was like there was a show of various products of high end sports brand. #DilliKiShowOff. Camel Pouch and knee guards, I didnt even knew the utility of many such items. For a moment we got scared OMG these guys are too prepared for the marathon. But once the race started, It was evident. But last year even I was more prepared in these aspects than just concentrating on running.

Even 1 Km mark was not over, when we saw a huge queue for toilet. It was funny, it lifted our spirits. I always had a scare for Ameya and Shail as they were regular at treadmill. I tried to hide saveguard under the fact that Shail has not run the marathon earlier. :) Anyways I felt the pressure mounting on me jogging with Shail, had hinted at him to go ahead and not wait up for me, which he eventually did. But it took 6 - 7 kms for him to realize it. :P One relief was all the petite girls and guys I was able to over take. So my mission in the whole 21.098 kms was to overtake the person who was just in front. Simple target and great motivation.

After Shail overtook me, I was able to see Ameya behind me. We thought he had overtook us while we were busy yapping. :P  Ameya is always slow in the beginning and then maintains the pace. I was doing the same as I was able to maintain the distance. But then there was this reporter who came right in my way to make me stop for an interview - I ll not hide that i was happy but then Ameya overtook me and till the end i was not able to catch up. I hate him for that :P

One thing not against the organizers of the marathon was fact I relied on Radio for music. I didnt want to carry my blackberry but took my chotu motorolla so that i can listen to radio. I am sure Delhi would have loud beats that would pump up my energy levels and also help adrenaline kick in. On the contrary all were lovey dovey songs that were being played, even by the radio station that partnered with the marathon. Ditch the Hindi stations let me check the English ones... and it was supposed to some top 40 but i failed to hear the part where they announced it was top 40 breakup songs. I patiently listened to 6 songs ( i was surprised at the level patience) Hard to say I am sorry.. Ok may be the next one is fast paced song.  You cant even say sorry. Will you say sorry. "SERIOUSLY???" there are songs even like this and so many???!!! I am sorry. I had enough I just shifted to my memory card which was filled with bhakti bhajans but somehow i felt better. May be god would bless me to complete the marathon. #VishwaVinayaka

There are about few things I really had trouble overcoming in Delhi. Probably only thing good abt this was it was flat land and having done a marathon earlier it was easy to complete.
1. Near IndiaGate the heat :( Dilli ki Sardi ke baare mein baat karna chodo and talk about dilli ki garmi :P ) No cover and I really thought I would get a stroke. When I reached the shadow the India Gate casted I really wanted to just stay there. But then Shail was 2 kms ahead and I needed to complete the marathon before my body gets a chance to give up.
2. Around 2nd Km I got a muscle pull in the thigh but was managing with stretches every km. After finishing half the distance you really dont want to be held back from finishing the race. Wanted Volini spray very badly to relax the muscle. Finally I see a medical camp but i was shocked to know they dont have sprays or ointments but only ice. Well the ice did help me cool me down :P ( from temper as well as dilli ki garmi)
3. Sponges - these are very important to feel hydrated esp as u cant drink too much of water. These are not something that are consumed but can be recycled. They were garbaged everywhere but not given out.
4. Traffic started plying the roads, I have heard a lot about the local buses and the maniac drivers who drive them.
6. Worst last 2 kms I had to find my way through the pool of Dream Run Participants. Even though it is for a cause, I found many taking out morcha, eating panipuri ( seriously???) and posing for pics. I have to zigzag my way thro grps of 20 - 50 odd people in grps. It was very difficult to cut thro the grp and needed the energy to say excuse me or push them and move ahead.
7. After completion the exhaustion just kicks in and would really need supplements - both liquid and solid. I got the medal and then there was announcement that the refreshments are over and only water is available. Trust me I was happy that I atleast got water. Ameya and Shail had or were about to have blackouts. Thank god for the Gatarode packet which i was too lazy to pour into a bottle and utilize.

Not exactly a compliant but more of a "good to have", we had to make our own gatorade. I survived of Gu gel, which i missed in Mumbai Marathon and on water.

Well a pat on my back - I resolved not to sit anywhere but to keep walking. I did stop to do stretches after every km but overall I am all smiles.

The Sparrow

With reference to World Sparrow Day and the article http://www.thehindu.com/news/cities/bangalore/article3019583.ece I wanted to write about them also.

Coming from Bangalore, I could sense the reduction in the population of these birds. Also because we used to leave food for the birds everyday before we consume. I like the ritual not because of its orthodoxity but because it helps those cute little things. With the rise of fertilizers and even the greenery vanishing - no natural habitat and no food source. Not just for birds but also for cats n dogs.

I was depressed not to see Rajajinagar in the article. I wouldnt say it is the most commercialized area nor completely residential but still I just wanted sparrows in the vicinity.

I also remember gramps making those bird noises. He used to wake up at 4 30ish and make this lovely coffee. Once you indulge in the smell of coffee and taste of it, the whole world seems heavenly. And the sounds of these birds just adds to the orchestra.

Once during CAT coaching when we were wrecking our brains on a question, there came few sparrows. Patnaik Sir, who was coordinating the class stopped all of us, "In the day light of Bangalore and that too in an environment like this - even miracles can happen" 

The ponderous thought is - if an adaptable bird like sparrow is dying and vanishing, what would be the pollution levels. We have already started charging for clean water, next what fresh air? Just like a bottle of Qua - which would taste like water from a well - u pay a premium compared to a normal bisleri/aquafina.This leads to the question why do we go to an extent to complicate lives and pay an extra charge, develop technologies to overcome the effect.

Only when the last tree has died and the last river been poisoned and the last fish been caught will we realise we cannot eat money.  ~Cree Indian Proverb 


My question over and above this is - where does comfort and luxury fit into the scheme of things